Change....

Monday 27 January 2014

Oh this blog post.
I'm not really sure where to start or maybe even why.
I've spent the last couple of years undergoing a change that has altered me on a number of levels.
I think any artist can say that those kinds of changes affect you and move you to create.
For such a long time now, I've had many dreams of work that I have wanted to make and for SO LONG have ignored.
I thought I was too silly, a dreamer, maybe too old, not thin enough, not creative enough, not rich enough, not talented enough...well you get the picture.
I wish I could say that I didn't still feel that way but I'm afraid that the changes I have experienced didn't quite stretch that far.
Only that they have moved me enough to have a little courage.
My dreams and feelings have spoken to me over and over in such a way that I feel that I cannot ignore them any more. 
Oh, it's just gotten personal....I guess that is why it is scary.
I've started with putting myself back in front of the camera.
It's hard to be in front of the camera when you constantly remember a former figure.
So much of what I want to do involves tender experiences and feelings so I feel that starting somewhere that is incredibly uncomfortable for me will be the conduit to the others pieces that will be more difficult for me to share.
I guess some of all of this sounds so cryptic.
Maybe it is.
I am normally a "plan" kind of girl.
I like to have specifics and details but I found that trying to be that way with this sort of thing was making me procrastinate.
So instead of waiting, I'm just going to start.
Which, to me, makes this seem so jumbled and slightly chaotic.
BUT it's a start and I think it's right.
So here I am.
Starting Here.

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4 comments:

Laura said...

Beautiful words, beautiful you! ♥

Observer Of Life said...

How exciting. And scary too!! I can so relate to the emotions expressed. I look forward to sharing/following your new path and adventures. Go You.

Love these pics... especially the last one. x

Anne Herbert said...

Nothing can go wrong when you listen to your heart. Best of luck on your journey!

Rebecca Northcott said...

These are beautiful, been following you for a long time always loved your work. I love that you have delved into it personally as well. I think when we give our all including ourselves we can feel finally free even though its super scary at first. Thank you for sharing YOU.